Saturday, August 04, 2007

shox

aren't my new running shoes sexy?
and i got them on sale! ha!

mind you, this was after an evening made miserable by my less-than-masculine inability to make decisions. all day, i deliberated about whether or not to attend a party after work. 5:30 came around, and still, it took me an additional hour to determine whether or not to attend. after asking all my friends' opinions, resolving not to go, and taking the subway line the opposite direction, i finally arrived, only to find the bar completely empty.

after waiting a half an hour, i was still the only one, so i grabbed a cab to head to the gym.

unfortunately, i didn't have enough cash. as the meter reached my limit, i spotted forbidden planet and decided to make a quick stop to brighten my mood and buy a few comics. unfortunately, there was no air conditioning, and all three of my items were out of stock. So, i decided to head to the gym on foot.

But i accidentally went the wrong direction.

Bringing me to the sports store, where i bought my new shoes, and then literally ran to the gym.

This meandering path of indecisiveness took me a total of three hours. three hours! time i could have spent working out and making myself more appealing to men with better decision-making abilities, who could make my life easier and more fulfilling by punctuating it with faster and better judgement.

will i ever grow up?

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Jew Blues

Me: How do bald men wear yarmulkes? If you can't wear those clips, they just fall off your head ...
Mom: Well, you just take a little rubber cement and stick some to your head, and then it doesn't come off.
Me: Really?
Mom: Yes, that's the trick!
Me: Have you ever actually seen someone do this?
Mom: Well, I saw this man fixing this rug to the floor the other day, and it wouldn't stick, so he just used a little rubber cement ...
Me: But have you ever actually seen anyone use this with a yarmulke?
Mom: Well, in my mind, I have ...

The Heat

Last night, crazy thing happened:
After work and the gym, I went to my sister's apartment for dinner. Her and her girlfriend are lighting candles around the apartment, and I take my shirt off and put it on her desk, but it's so dark that I don't really notice that there's a candle there ...
5 minutes later, I come back and there's this brilliant light.
The first thought in my mind is not:

"Fire!"
or
"Run!"
or
"Stop, Drop & Roll!"

But rather,
"What a beautiful light fixture! I wonder where my sister got that ..."

Perhaps this is the over-aestheticization of experience that visual culture theorists have been talking about for so long, and I just never really understood until my survival reflexes were inhibited by calm, aesthetic contemplation.
Have I taken the notion of academic disinterest too far? Am i disinterested in experience? What happened to the zen of living?

Or maybe i'm just thinking too much. Most likely ...